i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
