I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
