i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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