you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
