She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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