well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
did i just pee glitter
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
