I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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