So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
