God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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