ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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