I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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