that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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