They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
