Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
