Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
