No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
