Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
