ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize