can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
