wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
