am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
