She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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