just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
