Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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