just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
