I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
