Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
