so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
