Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
