i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
