so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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