hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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