youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
