we made out on top of his cat.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
