I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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