It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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