me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sorry my hands just texted you
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
