i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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