I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
