You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
