pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
