she kept yelling 'call me bella'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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