he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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