dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
