If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
