nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need to calm my uterus...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
