college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
