another moral hangover. fuck.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
