Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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