North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
